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Ben Adam's thoughts



Part 5

Home sweet home. The North, my dream.




I had so many dreams as a young boy. I hoped for a big life, a 
steady job and a real beautiful woman, getting rid of the herd 
sheep that I haven't been capable to feed daily. 

The idea that was surfacing every now and then was to move 
and settle down somewhere, outside as my brother in-law has done.
Outside as if I was homeless, as if the people around me was not mine,
as if the culture in place didn't belong to me, as if I was a foreigner 
at home!

But, why and where is this outside? why not home?
Home is still home. Alas, It is not able to fit my needs nor to
match my expectations any more.I wanted my dreams to be
fulfilled. I hoped for a mary land.

I wanted to be brilliant as he was showing  my biology professor. I 
wanted to perform my high class French accent. To be short, 
I wanted to practice what I have seen in movies on TV thanks to 
my parable.I knew a great deal about Jean-Marie Lepen, about Madona, 
about Mandela, about everything. I felt quite up to lead any discussion 
about everything.

"I had better to follow the indication of the compass," I had
often thought. That is the North. The North, as well as the West,
is good. The South and the East are synonym of  poverty and misery.
Euphemism states The Third Word  for them. I heard of that, in the 
North, It's always up there!

At home, nothing is crystal clear. We are just copycats of everything. 
I wanted to drink from the source. I wanted to be convinced and to 
experience real situations. How long will it last to imitate all the time? 
Had It better let to stem something from us?

It did make sense for me. What's more, I may be a credit to my 
family, which was not able to abide me and to get along with me.

What mattered me a lot was what I had to accomplish for myself, now
and right now,  It was the high time to do it. 

Musing to improve or to update issues home has not crossed my mind at 
all; and It doesn't appeal to me. I was extremely in a hurry. No one shows
the foggiest interest to build something from scratch. It was too late anyway. 
Nothing shows up on the horizon. I wanted a new shower, a 
new culture, right off the bat.

How is your flight going to be profitable to you, to your community and to your
country? Please, don't ask me that.

In the crowd, there is only the morons, but me I am an astute guay.
I am unique in my gorgeous manners of being. Frankly, I am very proud
of myself.



Abder. Ajaja - © - All rights reserved 2002.
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